Fragments Of You Read online

  “Are you still planning on coming home in a few weeks?”

  I furrow my brows. She usually follows up Dad’s lectures on morality, only she’s not as hardcore. My head cocks at the unexpected question. “I was thinking about it, yeah.” I stop at another light.

  “Wait.” The word barks out fast and hurried. “Just. Uh… wait. Maybe another month or something.”

  “Uhhh… Okay,” I say slowly. “Any reason why?”

  “She’s back.”

  I freeze—can’t even blink. The world drops away into the blackest hole known to man.

  A car behind me beeps.

  “Shit.” The light is green. My car lurches when I step on the gas, my knuckles white on the wheel as my throat clogs. “How do you know?” The question is so thick I almost choke on it.

  “I saw her when I took Gracie for ice cream,” she huffs, her tone tense. “Fucking bitch had the nerve to stop me and ask how you were doing. Even said she missed you.”

  A blow hollows out my chest, sending parts of my heart through my body. Ivy misses me? I lurch back to life at Lena’s growl.

  “I swear to God, Bent, if Gracie hadn’t been there, I would have scratched the bitch’s eyes out and tied her to the first bus out of town.”

  Pulling into my driveway, I’m only half alive. But I know I’m not alone when Lena and I sigh at the same time. I slam my back into the leather seat, desperate for another sensation besides that of the past sweeping me away––of this pain that’s cutting so deep, tears are at the corners of my eyes.

  “That’s why I’m telling you to wait, Bentley. I don’t know how long she’ll be here, but I can sure as hell find out, then I’ll call you when she leaves. Copperslane is only so big.”

  I rub at my eyes, hoping the torment swirling in my ribcage will fuck off and die.

  My home, Copperslane Washington, is a posh small town with a big city vibe. Too bad the charm it once had to me is now overcrowded with grief. The place fucking sucks, and I left after Ivy tore my soul to shreds. I got tired of everyone knowing my business and giving me the same old, damn pity stares. Fuck that.

  “Or come down and confront her. You know, make her feel like the cheating bitch she is.”

  Fuck. I think my chest is going to cave from the weight crushing down on it. My eyes squeeze shut. “I can’t see her, Lena.”

  “I didn’t think so. I mean not after everything she did.” Her tone softens.

  My throat dries up, and my hands shake. Why did I have to hear about her tonight?

  “Bent…” Lena’s voice is even softer now. “You know it’s okay? If you have something to get off your chest, you can tell me. I won’t tell Mom or Dad.”

  I take a deep inhale. “I want to be there, but… fuck.” My cheeks puff out while blowing out stale air. “If I saw her, I think it’d be the end of my sanity.” My voice breaks at the end, just like my heart is doing.

  “Damn it.” I hear her sniffle. “You’re still not over it all.”

  “I thought I was.” My head drops. “But now? Shit.” I stop a tear. Fuck me if I cry over her again. Alone in my car or not, I’m going to have some dignity over this.

  “Hey, not being over it is understandable, no matter how long it’s been. Either way, I’m glad I warned you since I wasn’t sure at first.”

  I nod slowly. “Me too.” Man, seeing Ivy would have been a huge cluster-fuck of my brain. Thank God for Lena. The trip home will definitely have to wait. I hope Gracie won’t be too sad about that. “Call me when she leaves.I’ll visit after.”

  “Count on it. And if I gouge her eyes out, I’ll be sure it ends up on the internet for you.”

  That makes me laugh, even if the sound is mingled with a half cry. “Just stay out of trouble. She’s not worth it.”

  “Ha. For you, she is. Don’t think about her and get some sleep. Love ya, butt head.”

  “Back at ya, stupid.”

  The call ends. I sit there for I don’t know how long. I’m empty, drained—like I want to sleep but can’t—like I want to find a girl and fuck out the throb lashing through me, but I can’t do that either. Instead, I sit there for far too long and absorb nothing.

  I don’t talk about Ivy much. Hell, I try to think about her even less, but in moments like this, where everything is blown back in my face, and the pain is cut wide open again, all I possess is the ability to do nothing.

  When I climb out of the car and go inside, I notice several hours have passed. Shit. I should be asleep. Work will be a bitch if I don’t head for bed right now. But shut-eye doesn’t come easy.

  Actually, it doesn’t come at all.

  In the dark, I open my eyes and rehash the evening.

  Rich, gross beer, TV, women talk, Nora…

  Nora. My body strains for a breath, maybe it’s my weakened state, but she’s all I want.

  She never texted me back, and her absence is making the pain in my chest fester. I need her. And that demand has me clutching for the phone at two in the morning.

  I’ve called her late before, so I know she won’t mind. Besides, this isn’t just any phone call. It’s an emergency, one my body seems to sense as my fingers tremble while I pull her number up on speed dial. Thank goodness her name is at the top.

  I already know talking to her won't be enough. A rough swallow rushes down my throat. I’m asking her out to dinner tomorrow. It’s not right, but I need something to seal the wound gashing away at me.

  Nora can do that––does that, even though she doesn’t know it. She’s the perpetual sweet calm to the storms I face.

  The phone rings. It rings a few times, and at first, my heart tightens. What if she won’t answer? I hate that thought because damn, do I need to hear that voice of hers.

  Then the ringing stops.

  “Hello?”

  The world stills. She’s answered when I’ve needed her the most… like always. One sound of that voice is like honey to my soul, and the pain of Ivy starts to balm-over. I smile.

  “Hey, sunshine.”

  Chapter 4

  Nora

  The teal sheets of my bedding are twisting around me like a tornado as I check the

  clock, grumbling at the ungodly hour. It’s two A.M. Sleep is eluding me. It’s getting more frequent, and I’m chalking it up to my unsteady job hours. I don’t work tomorrow, and the anxiety of knowing I’ll be on my own all day, isolated, while other people are striving ahead, makes it impossible for me to rest.

  “Damn it.”

  I’m throwing back the sheets, contemplating another glass of warm milk, when my cell phone goes off.

  Only one person calls at this hour.

  Bentley. Butterflies erupt, knowing it’s him. It doesn’t happen every night, but sometimes he can’t sleep either. I end up answering before the third ring.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, sunshine.”

  A manic thump pounds against my ribs, and I smile. “Hi.” My voice is so sugary sweet I should be throwing up.

  “There she is.” Bentley’s voice is bright despite the dark hour. “You didn’t answer my text earlier, so I got worried. Everything good?”

  “Did I not?” I blink a few times. “I thought I texted you back right away.” Not true. I saw his text but was still a little wounded and scared to answer after he ditched me.

  “Trust me, you didn’t.” There’s a silent beat. “I know because I was disappointed. I’ve been waiting all night to hear from you.”

  A warmth floods between my thighs, the combination of his words and voice making me squirm under my sheets. I combat the reaction with a giggle. “So you thought this would be a good time to call?”

  “Anytime’s a good time to call you. Especially when I can’t sleep.”

  I bite down on my lip, relishing that when he struggles, it’s me he comes to––and that part of our relationship is the best. When we’re hurting, tired, or sad, we turn to one another. No strings attached, no messy “I helped you, you hel
ped me.” Just two people who stumble and pick each other up when life hits us a little harder than usual.

  “What did you do today? Tell me everything.” His voice is gentle and warm.

  Everything. My brows furrow. “I’m afraid there’s not much good to speak of. Work is a bitch, and I cried.”

  “Cried?” His voice softens. “Aw, Nora. Who would dare make you cry? Tell me who I need to chew out.”

  “No, that’s not it. One of our older customers passed away.” I steady my voice, the sting popping up all over again. “He was my favorite. He always brought cookies and gave me my own plate. Mine always had extra chocolate chips.” I sniffle.

  “Sweetheart, I’m sorry. Why didn’t you call me? I would have brought you a soda or maybe a bar of chocolate. Something to buck you up.”

  “Oh, no.” I pat the dampness from my eyes, a smile breaking across my mouth at how thoughtful Bentley is. A friendly reminder that underneath his occasional dropouts, he’s a man capable of the kindest acts. “You wouldn’t have had to do anything like that.”

  “I would have, though, for you.” The words are soft, flowing into my ear. “If I knew you were upset, I’d do just about anything to make you feel better. You mean a lot to me, Nora.”

  My heart kicks into overdrive, the room floating around me. Knowing I mean something to him nourishes my soul in all the right ways. My thoughts are so thick, I barely notice the silence and jolt to life at the sound of his voice.

  “However, I’m glad you’re only telling me about this guy now. I didn’t realize I had competition.”

  A chuckle slides out of me––it stops my tears with a weight flying out of my chest.

  “That’s the sound I like to hear.” A smile plays heavily in his voice. “Enough with all that sad stuff, huh?”

  I nod. “Thanks, Bentley.”

  “Anytime, sunshine.”

  “Anyway, enough about me.” I shake the thought of my afternoon away, sinking a little under the covers. “What’s new with you? How was work?”

  “Oh, man,” he sighs. “I ended up saving our company close to ten grand today on a bad investment.”

  “Why am I not surprised.” Bentley is a financial genius. “I know that’s why they pay you well.”

  “It is.” He snorts. “Now, if the CEO would let me do my damn job and talk to me before it’s almost too late. Ahh.” He breathes hard into the phone. “But he’s a micro manager, so I suppose he can’t help it.”

  “You’re right––he can’t help it.” I stifle a yawn, fatigue winding through my legs and arms. “He’s always been like that, and you’re always having that problem. I doubt it will change.”

  “Yeah, I know, but one can hope, huh?”

  “There you are, finding the silver lining again.” I rub at the sleep taking over my eyes. “Does stuff like that ever make you want to leave or find something better?”

  “Hmm. Maybe. The pay makes it worth the trouble, but aspirations are always nice. I might aim for a different employer someday.”

  “Like who?” I shimmy under the sheets till I’m chin-deep. “What would be the ultimate dream job?”

  He pauses. “I know one pal who’s a financial manager for Apple. I think that would be cool.”

  I grimace. “A huge entity? That sounds stressful.”

  “Well––”

  A smile creeps over my mouth, “But I also know you’re smart and collected enough to handle something like that, so I know you’d be good.”

  “Damn…” His voice perks up, and he sighs. “I love it when you say things like that. You sure do know how to make a man feel good,” he chuckles softly. “Whoever catches you will have a lifetime of compliments.”

  The praise shoots straight into my heart, daring me to melt. I push out a soft thank you and get lost in the tone of his voice as he carries on the conversation. During the day, he’s more jovial, but in the midnight hours, I feel like he hides nothing from me. He lays it all out.

  Big and small.

  From the new protein shake he’s trying out to his sister being a cute little weirdo with her K-pop phase, or a potential house he might buy, and the 5K he’s thinking about being in––I listen to every word, soaking in the pieces of Bentley. I wonder if he’s showing this to anyone else. Because when I hear him like this, open and free, it makes me think I’m special.

  That is until I doze off.

  “Nora?”

  I stir. “Hmm. What?”

  “You fell asleep on me. And right when I told you about the new flavor that I meal-prep my chicken with.” He tsks. “How dare you?”

  “Sorry, but you lost me at teriyaki.” I rub my eyes, noticing the silence on the line, and I envision his face. I know exactly what he’s doing. He’s scowling. “And don’t look at me like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like I’ve sinned against everything Godly.”

  He laughs full-out. “Got me pegged that well, huh? I was scowling.”

  I giggle. “Called it.” Like always.

  “What are you doing for dinner tomorrow?”

  I groan. “Nothing. The evil witch has barred me from the pharmacy. I have time off. Bentley––”

  “Hey, it will work out.” I hear that happy glimmer in his voice again, and my eyes droop closed. “How ’bouts we meet tomorrow for sushi… my treat?”

  “That sounds good.”

  “Great. Bring your smile. That’s the only way I’m eating with you.”

  “Hmm-mmm.” My eyes roll. “Whatever.”

  “Night. See you tomorrow. Don’t be late.”

  He hangs up, and I place my phone down.

  Don’t be late.

  I know I won’t be. All I’m hoping is that he’ll actually show up. Because with Bentley, I always feel like I’m living for that crapshoot high. So, so elusive, yet so thrilling when I hit the jackpot of his isolated time.

  The next afternoon, steam and bubbles engulf me, and I tip my head back, letting water from the hot tub kiss my nape. “You’re never going to get me out of here, you know,” I smirk at my friend Tessa, my bestie from our university days, as she gulps down the remaining wine in her glass. We’ve decided to meet up and chill for a moment after her work day. I smile, then gaze out again at the spectacular mountain view from her balcony.

  “Fine by me.” Her silvery voice draws my eyes back to her. “Like I ever have any visitors.”

  Tessa. Our bond is one I never thought would happen. By the time I got into CU in Colorado, Tessa had already established herself as the brooding badass girl. She didn’t hang out with anyone and never smiled. Sure, she’d pop around to a party here or there, although we never knew why—and no one dared approach her while she sulked in the corners with her hollow gray eyes and black hair.

  For a while, she terrified me due to that mean-streak look. But that changed when I tried to leave a party after being haggled by a creep. He grabbed me, trying to force a kiss. When I did a less than adequate job of defending myself, it was Tessa who came up from behind, tapped the dude on the shoulder, then kicked him in the crotch.

  At first, she claimed she only did it because she felt sorry for me, but after hanging out at my dorm that night, I discovered she was lonely. A rich kid whose parents didn’t give a crap. She lacked the social skills to connect with people. We ended up clicking after that evening, rented a house soon after to finish college, and have been inseparable since.

  She slips further into the water and closes her eyes. “I mean it, Nor, you should move in with me. It could be like the old days.”

  “You mean like before you dropped out of college?” I try to make the reminder a gentle poke. Years later, and I’m still not letting that go. I keep hoping she’ll go back and finish her degree. She was so close to graduating with honors. It kills me to know she gave up on herself. Occasionally I encourage her to finish, praying it will respark the passion I once saw.

  “Don’t go there.” She opens one eye to peer
at me. “You would have done the same if your parents didn’t give one iota.” Her one eye seals shut. “Besides, I still got the job I wanted. I’m helping deaf kids like I always dreamed of, and I didn’t need a degree. Money and tenacity were enough.” A yawn slips out of her. “Anyway, you can have the room on the top floor, the one that has the bathroom with the sweet whirlpool tub. I hate baths.” She scrunches up part of her lip and gags. “Even this is too much. I’m roasting here.”

  My situation at work hits me, making my shoulders deflate. “Ugh. I might have to if Laura doesn’t give me back my hours. The way things are, I don’t think I’ll be able to afford my apartment after a while. I didn’t even work today.”

  “That woman is such a wench.” She takes a moment to secure her luscious midnight locks with an overstretched hair tie. “Just find someplace else already. There are other pharmacies, I’m sure. Maybe one with a hot young dude or a sweet old man at the helm.”

  “It’s not that simple.” I stare blankly at the water, wiggling my toes through the tiny bubbles. “I’m under contract there, Tess.”

  “So?” she shrugs. “Break it.”

  “I took a sign-on bonus when starting there. If I quit, I’ll have to pay all of it back.”

  She lurches upright. Her naturally down-turned eyes widen, and she angles her head. “You never told me this.”

  “That’s because it’s a pretty standard thing to do. At least for a chain pharmacy.” I reach for my wine, suddenly needing a relaxing taste. “As it is, I’ve spent the bonus and can’t afford to pay it back.”

  She frowns. “So you’re stuck? Basically reduced to being their slave even though the manager is bitch?”

  I nod. “Me and two others still haven’t worked there long enough to leave.” A weak smile creeps across my lips. “At least I’m not alone.”

  “I suppose that’s one way to approach things. How do your folks feel about their baby being mistreated?”

  “Oh gosh.” I chew the inside of my cheek. “I haven’t told them.” My lips pinch together when her brows shoot up. “Dad would be so upset—especially since he didn’t want me in this line of work to begin with. I think he’d probably come here himself, chew that woman's ass out, then drag me home.”